BORINGITIS

​In most schools, recess is everyone’s favourite subject. If you’re lucky, the sauce in your sandwiches hasn’t leaked into your biscuits, and you can swap someone for a half-eaten chocolate bar. But Mr Brown didn’t believe in sending students out for recess.
 
Every day he kept everyone in and gave ‘interesting’ lectures on how to plait your nose hair, how to sew your belly button fluff into a jumper, or, if you got really lucky, seventeen ways to use your earwax in cooking.But it gets worse! I know, right? What could possibly be worse than missing out on recess and sitting through a year’s worth of Mr Brown lectures?
 
Tuna!
 
Every day, Mr Brown brought tuna for lunch. He liked it even better when it was three days old and stunk like your teenage brother’s toxic socks. On special occasions he mixed it with blue cheese and triple-strength garlic! Mr Brown had the world’s most powerful microwave in his classroom, and he used it to heat up whatever ghastly fishy potion he’d conjured up for the day. Three minutes in that microwave was enough to turn it into a hypersonic stink bomb powerful enough to make a skunk put on deodorant.
 
The students pulled out their recess and tried to enjoy it, but no matter how yummy it was, it all just tasted like fish! Can you imagine? Fishy cupcakes, fishy chocolate bars, blue cheese apples, and garlicky orange juice. Yum-my! But just when everyone’s noses were about to fall off, the Shnoodly twins pulled something unbelievable out of their bags. Every eye locked onto the Shnoodlys’ lunchbox. It was the greatest recess snack that the class had ever seen — the greatest recess snack in the history of greatest recess snacks.
 
Mouths drooled, eyes watered, and even Mr Brown put down his fishy goodness and stared at the lunchbox perfection in front of him. And just what was inside that glorious lunchbox?
 
Left-over Grandma cake.
 
Imagine a piece of chocolate cake twice the size of your head — seventy layers of chocolatey goodness, and icing so gooey, so sticky, that each finger would take a thousand licks just to get clean. All the fishy, cheesy, garlicky smells were blown right out the window. “Get a look at Mr Brown,” said Rebekah Ripples. 
 
Mr Brown was frozen mid-fishy bite, his body stiff as a statue! His fork was suspended between his tuna bowl and his face, and chunks of fish were skydiving out of his mouth and splattering all over his desk.